Love My Lips!

NARRATOR:
One day while talking with Dr. Archibald, Larry confronts one of his deepest fears …

LARRY THE CUCUMBER:
If my lips ever left my mouth, packed a bag and headed south, that’d be too bad, I’d be so sad.

ARCHIBALD ASPARAGUS:
I see. That’d be too bad, you’d be so sad?

LARRY:
That’d be too bad. If my lips said, “Adios! I don’t like you, I think you’re gross,” that’d be too bad, I might get mad.

ARCHIBALD:
That’d be too bad, you might get mad?

LARRY:
That’d be too bad. If my lips moved to Duluth, left a mess and took my tooth, that’d be too bad, I’d call my Dad.

ARCHIBALD:
That’d be too bad, you’d call your Dad?

LARRY:
That’d be too bad.

ARCHIBALD:
Hold it! Did you say your father? Fascinating! So what you’re saying is that if your lips left you …

LARRY:
That’d be too bad, I’d be so sad, I might get mad, I’d call my Dad. That be too bad.

ARCHIBALD:
That’d be to bad?

LARRY:
That’d be too bad.

ARCHIBALD:
Why?

LARRY:
Because I love my lips! [Scatting]

ARCHIBALD:
Oh my … This is more serious than I thought. Larry, tell me, what do you see here?

LARRY:
Um, that looks like a lip.

ARCHIBALD:
And this?

LARRY:
It’s a lip!

ARCHIBALD:
And this?

LARRY:
It’s a lip, it’s a lip, it’s a lip lip lip! It’s a lip, it’s a lip, it’s a lip lip lip! It’s a lip, it’s a lip, it’s a lip lip lip. Liiiiiiiiiiiips. Lip lip lip.

ARCHIBALD:
Larry, tell me about your childhood.

LARRY:
When I was just two years old I left my lips out in the cold and they turned blue. What could I do?

ARCHIBALD:
They turned blue, what could you do?

LARRY:
Oh, they turned blue. On the day I got my tooth I had to kiss my Great Aunt Ruth. She had a beard … and it felt weird.

ARCHIBALD:
My, my! She had a beard and it felt weird?

LARRY:
She had a beard. Ten days after I turned eight, got my lips stuck in a gate. My friends all laughed. And I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crow bar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee – right on the lip – and we couldn’t even talk to each other until the fifth week because both our lips were so swollen, and when he did start speaking he just spoke Polish and I only knew like three words in Polish except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip: Usta!

ARCHIBALD:
Your friends all laughed … Usta? How do you spell that?

LARRY:
I don’t know.

ARCHIBALD:
So what you’re saying is that when you were young …

LARRY:
They turned blue, what could I do? She had a beard and it felt weird. My friends all laughed … Usta!

ARCHIBALD:
I’m confused …

LARRY:
I love my lips! [Scatting]

NARRATOR:
This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry say …

LARRY:
Have I ever told you how I feel about my nose?

ARCHIBALD:
Oh, look at the time!

Words and Music by Mike Nawrocki.