NARRATOR:
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Larry the Cucumber presents, in a sequential image, stereophonic, multimedia event, the “Song of the Cebú!”

LARRY THE CUCUMBER:
Cebú! This is a song about a boy … a song about a little boy and his cebús … a song about a little boy and his three cebús … the little boy who had a sick cebú, a sad cebú and a mute cebú. And also a hippo.

Um … um … this is a picture of me at the airport. This is my Aunt Ruth. This is me at a bullfight. This is me fighting the bull.

JIMMY GOURD, JERRY GOURD, JUNIOR ASPARAGUS:
Ohh!

LARRY:
This is me and the bull.

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Ahh!

LARRY:
This is me and the bull and … I think that’s the bull’s cousin. He’s a cebú!

ARCHIBALD ASPARAGUS:
Hold it! You call this a multimedia event? This is a slide projector and a bed sheet! And what on Earth is a cebú, anyway?

LARRY:
It’s kind of like a cow. See?

ARCHIBALD:
Yes. Well … very good. This could be interesting. Carry on!

LARRY:
Cebú! Sing it with me! Cebú!

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Cebú!

LARRY:
Boy is riding with cebú

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Boy is riding with cebú

LARRY:
Into town in his canoe

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Into town in his canoe

LARRY:
Sick cebú is rowing and sneezing. Achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo moo moo

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo moo moo

LARRY:
Hippo chewing on bamboo

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Hippo chewing on bamboo

LARRY:
Can’t see boy and three cebús

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Can’t see boy and three cebús

LARRY:
Sad cebú is rowing and crying. Boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo moo moo

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo moo moo

LARRY:
Cebú!

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Cebú!

LARRY:
Cebú!

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Cebú!

ALL:
Achoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, cebú!

LARRY:
Hippo seen by mute cebú

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Hippo seen by mute cebú

LARRY:
Tries to tell the other two

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Tries to tell the other two

LARRY:
Mute cebú is waving and grunting. Mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

LARRY:
Uh-oh.

ARCHIBALD:
Wait! What happens next?

LARRY:
Um …

ARCHIBALD:
Does the hippo see them? Is the poor mute cebú successful in communicating the imminent danger to the other passengers? Is the boy injured? Why is the sad cebú sad? Is the canoe wood or aluminum?

LARRY:
Oh, look! There’s me and Bob at Sea World! Oh, wow. Forgot about that one. There’s me and that bull again.

ARCHIBALD:
You can’t just start a song and leave it hanging like that! You know, I’ve come to expect a lot more from you. This is quite disappointing! I’m going to have to speak to Bob about this.

LARRY:
Oh look, a cebú! Cebú!

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
Cebú!

LARRY:
No, wait … that’s a water buffalo.

JIMMY, JERRY, JUNIOR:
No more song about cebú! Need another verse or two! Audience is standing and leaving, bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo moo moo moo

JIMMY:
I want my money back!

JERRY:
Yeah, that’d be … that’d be good.

Words by Mike Nawrocki. Music by Kurt Heinecke.